I’m going to say something that should be obvious: a minority of men think about women in quite this violent and hateful a way. An even smaller minority act on that violence so brazenly. But many men violate women’s boundaries and autonomy constantly, and all men are socialized to think about themselves, about sex, and about women in similar ways.
Does anyone else read that clearly as “I’m not saying all men are like this but all men are like this.”? All men are socialized the same and some are brazenly violent about it. got’cha, I’ll go commit seppuku.
The blog has good points and all the fact is it’s not trying (or it’s failing horribly) to start a dialogue or even explore why the roots of the problem are there, it’s just saying our whole culture is sick because of men, all men, to get nods of approval from her own peers and community.
I saw a tweet on this issue that read “If I see one “Not all men” about this issue I will punch.” So are we not allowed to point out that not all men are sexists? Actually, that not all men are homicidal misogynists? Gosh, you know me better than I know myself, I’ll just seppuku it up over here. All I have in common with this killer is the shape of my genitals but I guess that’s enough for someone to know everything about me. Maybe instead of punching men our dear tweeter could go on a shooting rampage since all men must be thinking it anyways?
So how can I wrap this up? Yes this killer was the sick product of a culture. But let’s not call it our culture because it’s not mine and I doubt it’s yours. Not all men are slave-owning rapist murderers and to tar us all just breaks down dialogue and exploration and perpetuates a battle-of-the-sexes mentality. As a civilization we need to single out the dangerous anomalies and figure out how they came to be (without defaulting to say it’s society’s fault and then doing nothing) and work toward fixing them.
Or we grab random men who enjoy beer commercials by the scruff of the neck, rub their noses in a senseless murder, and say look what you’ve done. That’ll probably help.