Something still bugging me from Friday night is people telling me pip just wants to talk.
Whether pip wants to talk or wants to dance a lovely waltz, why should that matter? Why does what he wants matter more than what I want?
Which is to not talk. To be left alone, that’s all I’ve ever wanted. None of this would have happened if he didn’t keep trying to talk to me.
I cut ties with Fitzy and Rafi and we all handled it like grown ups. Fitzy and I have even exchanged a few friendly words at stuff like the beer core awards. I can’t speak to how he feels of course but I can speak to his actions and he’s always acted with dignity toward me.
And Raf is an even better example. He came to a show at Distortion, we made eye contact for a second, then I walked passed without saying anything. No malice, no ill-will, just an understanding that I didn’t want to talk. Contrast that with Pip following me around Long & Macquade after I said “go away, pip.”
I never wanted to start getting hostile I just wanted to be perfectly clear.
I guess I know how girls feel when they get hit on by guys they don’t want to talk to and then people call them bitches for not being nice, for just invoking their own autonomy.
Someone asked me if what happened is that big of a deal and the fact is I don’t have to justify how I feel about things that happened to me. I don’t owe it to anyone to react the way they want me to. And it’s not my responsibility to help anyone else deal with how they feel.
Pip cut me out of the reunion show, he didn’t want to talk to me then, it was entirely on his terms. If he wants to talk now why does that have to be on his terms too? Don’t I have the right not to trust someone? Don’t I have the right to choose who I’m friends with?