5 htp

I’ve been taking it as mood stabilizer for about 2 weeks now. And I am feeling happy in a general way. For the sake of being scientific I’ll acknowledge that it could be other factors like the amount of sunshine in a day or just the fact that I have up and down phases anyway. Regardless I am in a positive mood now. The strange thing is that nothing has changed, the world is still awful, people still suck, there’s no future, etc, I just don’t feel bummed about it anymore.

I’m not yet any more productive either. I had worried that if I got happy I’d lose the drive that makes me write songs. Since I wasn’t writing lately anyway I figured now was a reasonable time to try a life change. Currently it seems that instead of being too lethargic to write I’m too busy having fun to write but it’s only been 2 weeks, we’ll see.

I don’t feel less lonely either. I don’t feel the sense of belonging that I always crave. I’m not happy per se I’m just not sad. I guess satisfied is the feeling I’m looking for. Life is still unsatisfying but now that doesn’t seem like the end of the world.

I’m going to keep it up and see how it goes.

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Singer/songwriter, jerk.

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