There was some camaraderie around the kitchen today. After the usual horrible start to the day we settled into a slow lunch and had time to just vent and crack jokes, make up dances. I’m working on a film compilation of women opening jars so I had some time to add to that. We got tip outs which eased my feelings about money for the week. So I actually went and bought the vitamins I’d been putting off for months.
And on an emotional level something relieving and enlightening also happened. I’ve been listening to music with an obsessive depth and insight lately, it’s how I know myself, it’s where I get the only advice I ever really heed. So today to try and cheer up the kitchen after our awful morning I went thru some Spotify playlists titled Super Happy Fun Time. This lead us to listening to Lil Jon which lead us to Ludacris, which lead us to Jay Z. (I’m sorry to my older readers for whom that sentence is just jargon).
Something that must be said about hip hop is that it’s really empowering and fun.
I’ve listened to a lot of serious songs that are supposed to be uplifting, I still obsess over Frank Turner’s Postive Songs For Negative People, and they feel hollow. They miss the mark like they’re just meant for people who aren’t as ruined as me.
But the bravado and humour in hip hop truly made me feel that I could conquer all of this for the first time since it started.
I’m on my way to the Odyssey open mic right now and last time was a blast so I’m feeling pretty jazzed right now.
It’s already been a period of the most extreme mood swings in my life and I don’t expect that’s cured but I really want to savour the good times and to let everyone know that I’m not just miserable 100 percent of the time.