It’s my last night of enforced sobriety, starting tomorrow I can drink again if and when I feel like it.
Also tomorrow the blog posts I’ve been writing start going up, one at a time from now til boxing day. It explores my drinking and the reasons behind it as well as all the events swirling around right now.
I don’t know much about the next chapter of my life but these last forty days are well documented, I can’t say for sure if I’ve grown, in fact I’d mostly say I’ve dug down and stripped things away.
I can’t really spoil the ending for you since there really are no endings in life. Tomorrow Simone moves out, the gateway staff party goes down, the earth keeps spinning…
It’s a shame, I really like finales. I wish I could walk off with my back to the credits but life doesn’t work that way.
Anyway, read it, don’t read it, dip in and out, save it all up and binge read it, for me it’s the writing that matters. that’s why I did it this way, because I didn’t want real time feedback, I wanted to do this as privately as I could, because I really don’t believe in hiding anything, all truths are meant to be explored, all ideas are meant to be questioned.
Maybe I’ve learned that not all relationships need to be tested. Not to their limits anyway.
As always, I found questions instead of answers, angst instead of relief, and I poured it proudly for all to see.
Merry Christmas and Happy Halloween.