Monthly Archives: October 2017


I highly recommend getting a massage. Our culture is very touch starved, that’s a literal thing. We’re told from a young age that all touch is sexual, to be afraid of being touched because the other person might be enjoying

Posted in Depression & Suicide, Gender, Pop Culture, Pragmatism

Walking down 45th in fall

It’s my decided-to-kill-myself-aversary. Actually it was somewhere in the middle of October, I remember that I was on the C train in the morning, that I said I’d give myself until the 30th to think about killing myself and then

Posted in Uncategorized

Your feet stink

My locker at work stinks. It contains my gym clothes and my work clothes. Last night on the treadmill I was cringing that I could smell my shoes as I started running. And I’ve been meaning to do something about

Posted in Pragmatism

The self

I remember talking about this a bit last year but I have a much richer insight into it now in my meditative years: The fact that the self is an illusion was something holding me back from recovery, from overcoming

Posted in Depression & Suicide, Pragmatism

Do they make you better?

I came across this question in the book How To Fall In Love With Anybody. I’d heard it before but I can’t remember where. It’s the most important thing you can ask about your romantic partner or any relationship really.

Posted in Uncategorized

How to practice in your sleep

There’s a maneuver in nunchucking known as infinites. They look like this. Jay and I had both practiced and we we’re getting sloppy versions of them occasionally just out of luck but something was completely missing. Then we both had

Posted in Pragmatism

The opposite of a fair weather friend

I have a lingering reputation for being a downer. Which I’ve never aspired to be, of course. Very rarely do I want to take away from the achievement of anyone, let alone a friend. My driving force with people is

Posted in Depression & Suicide, Pragmatism