Blog Archives

Gratitude anxiety

On his podcast my current hero Jocko Willink spends the first half talking about a book and I just listened to the episode on The Forgotten highlander, an absolutely harrowing tale of being a POW of the Imperial Japanese. And

Posted in Depression & Suicide

External rewards

Mostly how not to use them. In a long term study it was found that kids who participated in charity drives at school were less likely than others to become charitable people as adults. The contributing factor? Prizes. Kids who

Posted in Depression & Suicide, Pragmatism

Don’t let feelings dictate behavior

One thing I never want to be is a hypocrite. When I was suicidal last year I saw all the ways people weren’t helping. They wanted to, they even thought they were, but the misconceptions and barriers were all over

Posted in Depression & Suicide, Pragmatism

Not because it’ll make you happy

Advice from a depressed person to depressed people. First, get out of bed. No sleeping in, no multiple alarms, no complaining. This is the first win of the day, it sets your hit point meter for the day going up

Posted in Depression & Suicide

In training vs in combat

I started of thinking of all life as a test and it made me a much calmer person. If a test goes exactly as you expect then it wasn’t really a test, it was just a transaction. Expecting things to

Posted in Depression & Suicide, Pragmatism


I highly recommend getting a massage. Our culture is very touch starved, that’s a literal thing. We’re told from a young age that all touch is sexual, to be afraid of being touched because the other person might be enjoying

Posted in Depression & Suicide, Gender, Pop Culture, Pragmatism

The self

I remember talking about this a bit last year but I have a much richer insight into it now in my meditative years: The fact that the self is an illusion was something holding me back from recovery, from overcoming

Posted in Depression & Suicide, Pragmatism